Okay, normally I wouldn’t dream of sharing, well… dreams on this blog, because I think that’s a little weird, but I have to share this one because it is THAT CRAZY, plus it explains a lot about me and my insanity.
So I dreamt that I was back in high school. And all the boys in school decided that for the last month of their senior year, they were going to come to school naked. Oh, those boys! All of them were walking around completely nude, and being pretty rude about it, too… nude and rude… ha!
Anyway, so we were having a school assembly in the auditorium, and all the boys were parading around, swinging their anatomies in our (the girls) faces, while we sat quietly and clothed. Finally, I had had enough. I got up, marched down to the front of the stage, and began taking off all of my clothes. First I took off my shirt and all the (naked) guys in the auditorium cheered. Then, I started to take off my pants, and the entire administration (sitting in the back) whipped out their little pink slips to write me up (I’m not kidding, this is really how it unfolded).
“That’s grounds for suspension!” they yelled at me.
“WHY?!” I asked. “Why is it okay for all the boys to walk around naked, but as soon as a girl takes off her clothes, she gets suspended??”
At this point, I want you to remember that I am not kidding, this is really how my dream unfolded… because one of the (nude and rude) boys yelled from the crowd, “because vaginas are DISGUSTING!”
I shook my head, standing there naked in front of my whole high school. The girls were starting to get riled up and organized, some of them even started to strip down and join me at the front. The administration began talking amongst themselves, and finally one of them said, “okay, we’ll vote on it.”
Of course the girls won their right, because most of the guys wanted to see us naked, anyway. The whole student body cheered, and I hopped off the stage, and put my clothes back on. Most of the girls followed.
“Wait,” said one of the (bare-anatomied) boys. “Why are you putting your clothes back on? You’re allowed to be naked with us, now!”
“Well, the truth is I really don’t want to come to school naked,” I said. “It’s weird and uncomfortable. But I just feel really strongly that if any girl wants to, she should be able to without getting suspended.”
For the rest of the dream, all the girls were clothed, but dammit, if they wanted to be naked they COULD HAVE BEEN.
And then later in the dream I bought a nose ring the size, shape, and color of a Lemon LifeSaver and immediately regretted my decision.
What? School is over, I’m running out of intelligent things to say.
